Breastfeeding 1-2-3

Feeding on Demand and Child-Led Weaning

by Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor on February 5th, 2007

Yesterday I received a lovely email from a mother who came across Breastfeeding 1-2-3 and felt inspired to share her breastfeeding story. Jennifer writes:

“My little darling, Faith, is 31 months old and still nursing on demand and I fully intend to allow her to decide when it’s time to wean. I’m working from home, so that has never been an issue for us.

Throughout her life, I’ve gone about feeding her just like I would go about feeding myself–whenever she was hungry she would get “booby” and it didn’t matter where we were. One time my aunt-in-law (who has no children) expressed embarrassment because I didn’t cover her up. She actually went so far as to suggest I go to the car to feed Faith. I refused to do either. I explained to her in a diplomatic (I felt) but firm way that I don’t expect her (my aunt) to cover up while she’s eating, why would I do that to my infant? I didn’t hear much about it after that–though I would get the occasional “look.”

As Faith has gotten older, family members have become bolder in suggesting it’s time to wean. My step-sister, who had a child one year after Faith was born, proudly told the family at Christmas dinner that she weaned hers at 6 weeks, because babies shouldn’t be sucking on breasts for that long. At the time Faith was having a drink, which I found to be quite humorous. I guess I never was good at putting my child’s well-being behind what the community as a whole felt was normal (I’m also an attachment parent, to a certain degree). I try to be a little more discreet about it now, but only so far as to go into a separate room (not a toilet) so they don’t have to look at such a “shocking” thing. LOL Luckily, for me, my husband sees nothing wrong with giving Faith the “booby” whenever she wants it. I’m glad for that as having his full support makes bucking the “system” so much easier.

So far I’ve successfully stuck to my guns. I’m sure there will be a new onslaught of weaning suggestions when Faith turns 3, but that’s okay. She’ll be happy and, to be honest, I’ll be happy. I love the time we spend together while she’s nursing. We’re at the point now where she talks with her mouth full and even hums little songs while she’s doing it. I tell her stories and she laughs–I love it. There’s nothing more precious than looking into your child’s eyes while they’re so close to you and seeing that love and tenderness and contentedness. Even more, since she’s at the age now where she can climb up and lift my shirt and bra by herself, I get a good giggle as she works to make herself comfortable. I would have missed those precious memories if I would have weaned early, I think.

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to tell my story. It’s sites like yours that give nursing mothers the knowledge and courage to do what’s right for their children (as well as show the dads that “Hey! See? I told you it’s not strange!”) Faith and I both appreciate it.”

Jennifer, thank you for sharing your story! I’m so glad that you have stuck to your convictions about what’s right for your daughter in spite of negative comments from those around you.

If Jennifer’s story has inspired you to share your own breastfeeding experience, please click here. To read more breastfeeding stories, click here.

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POSTED IN: breastfeeding stories, extended breastfeeding, toddler nursing