Breastfeeding 1-2-3

My Breastfeeding Story: Part III–Tandem Nursing

by Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor on December 21st, 2006

Part I and Part II of my breastfeeding story continue:

After my newborn’s arrival, our mother-toddler-newborn nursing triumvirate went through a three-month adjustment period. My toddler was thrilled with the return of plentiful milk, and I think she was grateful to her baby sister for that! My newborn also nursed like a pro, just like her big sister had as an infant.

When I came close to engorgement again in the early days, I simply asked my toddler to nurse and she happily obliged. Fortunately, I did not have an overabundant supply this time around. I had far fewer instances of plugged ducts. I did experience a return of the post-partum Graves’ disease, and my second child did follow in her sister’s footsteps with hourly night-waking. When I became completely run-down, I battled repeated cases of mastitis. I learned to rest, rest, rest and nurse, nurse, nurse, and conquered mastitis without antibiotics. I realized though that I needed more sleep. My husband and I started working on getting our baby to sleep better at night. She allowed my husband to put her to bed at an earlier age than my first-born did, and her night-nursing is down to two to three times a night.

I also realized that I could not continue to nurse both girls on demand. I needed my toddler to accept some limits on our nursing sessions. I tried limiting the number of nursings per day, but she could not handle that. Emotionally, she needed that connection with me, particularly with a new baby in the house. Instead of the number of nursings, we limited the duration. She could nurse for the length of two ABC songs, and then I would say, “Three, two, one, done, pop off please!” Given that she knew when the nursing session would end, and she had the warning of “three two one,” she readily complied with this restriction. Eventually, she was ready to limit nursing to waking in the morning, after her nap, and before bed (with exceptions for when she received a bump or scrape and needed comforting). Those sessions developed nicknames, “mum-mum,” “mum-mum after nap” (or “afternoon mum-mum”) and “mum-mum before bed” (a.k.a. “last mum-mum of the day.”) You see, early on I had tried to teach my daughter to say “num-num” as our code word for nursing, but she called it “mum-mum.” For a long time, “mum-mum” and “Ma-ma” were pretty much indistinguishable!

There have been many times that I’ve been incredibly grateful to be nursing. The time the 14-month-old fell and got a pebble lodged in her forehead and I nursed her to sleep before throwing her in the car to go to the pediatrician’s office. The time the two-year-old tripped and knocked out one of her top teeth on a concrete floor. The time the six-week-old was hospitalized for a high fever. All the times my children have needed comfort, nutrition, and re-connection. Nursing has become part of my parenting style. I know that when the time comes we’ll get by just fine without nursing, but for now, I’m happy we share this wonderful nursing bond.

If you’d like to share your breastfeeding story (about getting started, persisting through difficulties, toddler nursing, breastfeeding during pregnancy, tandem nursing, adoptive breastfeeding or any other aspect of breastfeeding), please email me!

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POSTED IN: advantages of breastfeeding, breastfeeding stories, extended breastfeeding, tandem nursing, toddler nursing