Ten Ways Fathers Can Bond with the Breastfed Baby
For whatever reason (read: excessive f*rmula marketing practices), people associate bottle-feeding with bonding. Many people think that giving a baby a bottle is somehow a necessary and important part of a father’s (or grandmother’s or grandfather’s) bonding with a baby.
Certainly a father might enjoy giving a bottle (and there is plenty of time for that once breastfeeding is well established), but it’s not the only way a father can bond with his baby. A father can:
1. Be in charge of the nightly bath.
2. Sing songs.
3. Wear the baby in a sling or other baby carrier.
4. Change diapers! It may not sound like a glamorous activity, but diaper changing time is an opportunity for conversation and interaction.
5. Rock the baby in the rocking chair or glider.
6. Go for a walk using a stroller or baby carrier.
7. Bring the baby to mom for feedings. That simple act builds trust by essentially saying to the baby, “I recognize what you need and I will help satisfy your need.”
8. Burp the baby after feedings. If the father gets lucky he might even pat the little one to sleep on his shoulder!
9. Be a pacifier. Babies have a strong need to suck, and while that need should generally be satisfied at the breast, in a pinch a father can offer a clean finger as an alternative. He should turn his finger so the pad, not the fingernail, faces the roof of the baby’s mouth. (This trick works for moms too of course! When a baby is having trouble nursing to sleep and staying asleep after popping off the breast, a mother can either re-latch or try offering a clean finger instead).
10. Learn the art of baby massage.
In your family, how does the father bond with his child? Does he have a favorite father/baby activity?
Tags: breastfeeding, fathers, lactationRelated Stories
POSTED IN: breastfeeding
3 opinions for Ten Ways Fathers Can Bond with the Breastfed Baby
Kelli
Jul 1, 2007 at 8:02 am
I’ll never forget when our son was a newborn, sleeping in his bouncy seat. My husband had just come home from work and I told him he should hold him since he hadn’t gotten to all day. His reply was “I’ll wait til he starts crying, that’s my job”. Since I had all the responsibility for breastfeeding and such, he viewed his job as comforting our son when he was crying for other reasons than hunger (since my son rarely took a bottle, my husband couldn’t help out there). 20 months later, and it is still my husband’s job - my husband has always jumped right in there when my son cried.
I think it’s why my son has never really preferred one of us over the other - whoever is around will do!
All the other things you mentioned, of course, go a long, long in bonding!
Eilat
Jul 2, 2007 at 8:18 am
This takes me back (about 22 months) :-)
We didn’t want our son to take a pacifier so my son sucked on a lot of fingers, especially daddy’s.
I found the bottle-bonding thing strange too. When he was ~3 weeks old I pumped on one side to let a crack in my nipple heal for a few days and my son had never had a bottle. Grandma was so excited to feed it to him, she practically snatched the bottle from my hand as I prepared it. I couldn’t watch. I got positively jealous! I had to leave the room.
Shelly
Jul 5, 2007 at 8:23 am
My husband is very hands on. Since I breastfeed, he gives both girls their baths all the time and he will also comfort my 9 month old when she is teething and just wants to be held. He’s a fan of diaper changing too: he turns it into a game where he sees how many times he can make the baby laugh in one change.
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