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Tips for Talking to Pregnant Women about Breastfeeding

by Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor on February 16th, 2008

The current poll on talking to pregnant women about breastfeeding has sparked several insightful comments. These commenters have come up with tactful, sensitive ways to open a discussion with a friend, casual acquaintance, or stranger. In case you missed these tips:

~ “What I normally do is say something like ‘if you need any advice or help with breastfeeding I can lend you some of my books or give your some good contact numbers….’ “The fact that I’m still bfing my 15 month old is handy, as I can say something about how it’s great for calming her or similar and it’s not an intrusive comment just a personal observation which often gets people interested and asking more.” — Half Pint Pixie

~ “I won’t ask directly, but I’ll drop hints at the subject, like ‘Oh, the first few days are a blur. All I remember is nursing and sleeping.’ Or ‘I miss having a newborn, my son is ??? old now and I really miss the bonding from nursing.’ You know, that sort of thing where I open the door and let the other person decide if they want to go in. I do the same thing re natural childbirth. I don’t ask if they plan on using an epidural or anything, I just mention that I labored in a whirlpool which gets them asking questions and then I mention the midwife and the birthing center. It usually goes over very well.” — Eilat

~ “As a volunteer breastfeeding counselor I tell pregnant & new moms what I do, inform them about our meetings, and let them know they can call me with breastfeeding questions. If I was paid for my breastfeeding work I would probably be less forthcoming as it would feel too much like soliciting business.” — Shannon at some fine taters

~ “I usually say, ‘I don’t know if you are planning on breastfeeding or not, but if you are you should know about the Lactation Center…’ Then they usually say, ‘Yes I am going to breastfeed,’ or ‘I haven’t decided’ or ‘No, I am going to bottle feed.’ I try to say things in a positive, happy tone so it comes across as informative not judgmental. I think it is good to let people know about local resources before they deliver and encourage them to check out the resources BEFORE they have problems. Many first time moms don’t know where the local resources are or don’t think about contacting them before the birth. I think different groups/personalities work better with different people and it is much better to find your match before you have a problem. Even if the person has other children or you don’t know them that well, it is worth saying something. A person may be on the fence and a small word of encouragement, even from a stranger can help. In most cases, if you are respectful in passing on information it will help.” — Cairo Mama

~ “I learned at a breastfeeding seminar that rather than ask if a mom plans to breastfeed, ask for her thoughts on breastfeeding. That way it isn’t just a yes or no, and it gives you the chance to help her with her concerns and offer support.” — Lauree

Thanks for the advice, ladies!

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