Breastfeeding 1-2-3

29 opinions for Toddler Nursing (Mom-to-Mom #5)

• Shelly
  Jan 12, 2007 at 5:11 am

  I nursed my oldest darling until she self weaned at twenty months. I plan on nursing my three month old until at least twenty four months, hopefully longer.

• Angela
  Jan 12, 2007 at 6:13 am

  Shelly, that’s wonderful that your first self-weaned and that it was such a good experience for you both that you plan to nurse at least that long the second time around!

• Tanya
  Jan 12, 2007 at 11:56 am

  I think that toddlers get a lot of comfort and security from nursing. That was definitely the case with my son. Sometimes I think that we forget that it’s not just about nutrition and immune protection - lots of toddlers need the closeness they get from nursing.

• Angela
  Jan 12, 2007 at 12:04 pm

  Tanya, I totally agree that toddlers get a lot of emotional support from nursing. Unfortunately too though I think that some people think it’s wrong to satisfy a child’s need that way — as long as it’s for nutrition, fine, but it’s a whole different thing when it’s for comfort. Why that need is less important and more taboo I’m not sure.

• Andi
  Jan 12, 2007 at 12:20 pm

  I think people should nurse as long as they want to. If you can nurse a toddler, that’s wonderful. Personally, it’s not for me. One year of nursing is what I did with our first son (actually 11 months, until I got pregnant) and what I plan to do with our second son. I’m looking forward to having a little more freedom back and not having to schedule everything I do around whether or not he may need to eat. Maybe that’s selfish, but at least I know they will both have had the benefit of a year or so of breastmilk.

• Sandy
  Jan 12, 2007 at 12:21 pm

  I do believe in toddler nursing. In fact I’m nursing my 2 year old son as I type.
  The benefits of continuing to nurse past the first year are well documented. So to me it’s more a question of why wouldn’t I. It’s good for him, it offers emotional comfort and bonding, and he doesn’t want to wean.

• Elanor
  Jan 12, 2007 at 12:35 pm

  I love to hear it when any mother and child nurse past 12 monhts. I agree that it is a personal choice between and mother and her child and with respect to other members of the immediate family (spouses, siblings). I am currently still nursing my 4.5 year old and it’s definitly her choice as it is always at her request, which could be three times a day or every three days. Our littles ones have so little control over their lives, I like that she at least has control over that small part of it.

• Jen
  Jan 12, 2007 at 12:42 pm

  Hmm…how can you not “believe” in todder breastfeeding…it clearly exists. ;)

  Ok, past the semantic issue…and assuming you mean do I think it’s a good idea, I got with the “to each their own” philosophy.

  I do think moms should really aim to hit that magic 12 month mark, but once you hit that point, I think you have to do what works best for your family.

  I EPed for nearly 14 months for my oldest. With my current, I’m aiming for 18 months and then we’ll see what happens.

• Carrie
  Jan 12, 2007 at 1:32 pm

  Yes I do. There are so many benefits of it, not just to the toddler but also to the Mom. For one, when the tot gets sick and refuses food, it’s comforting that they can breastfeed and get nutrition far superior to Pedialyte or anything else sold on a shelf.

  Secondly, I think it makes toddler discipline easier. My first two weaned at 4, not sure yet about the last two. ;)

• Angela
  Jan 12, 2007 at 2:26 pm

  Andi - Thanks for your comment! It’s great to hear both sides of the issue. When both my girls were babies I simply took them with me wherever I went (fortunately, I don’t get invited to too many things where children aren’t allowed)! With my first daughter, it took a while before I could leave her for longer stretches of time. With my second, she is much more able to tolerate being away from me for an evening here and there now that she’s a toddler and I do admit that is nice!

  Jen - When I got that question, it did feel a bit like someone was asking me to do their school essay for them: “Do you believe in toddler nursing and why?” ;) But it’s an important question and I agree, the answer is different for every family.

  Carrie - Both of those things have absolutely been true for me. I was so grateful to be nursing when my child had the flu and the only thing she could keep down was breast milk. Often the children are sick for much shorter times than I am, thanks to those wonderful antibodies in the milk.

  As for discipline, my firstborn never really had a tantrum — nursing fixed every problem for her LOL. Unfortunately, that’s not true for my second who is now two. Not a terrible two by any means, but still more of a challenge!

• The Lurking Breastfeeder
  Jan 12, 2007 at 2:30 pm

  Breastfeeding is the most natural interchange between a mother and her baby which has been morphed into something almost “taboo” by pressures of the way we learn, observe, and the style of life we live.(Out of sight, out of mind. How many references can you remember as you were growing up about the benefits of breastfeeding?) Breastfeeding is a continum which doesn’t fit into a neat timetable: Oh, you are now a toddler,so no more “num num”. Ideally, it should continue as long as there is a need, and this need is always a combination of nutritional and emotional interchange. As long as our toddler is growing and developing in a way which indicates health in a broad interpretation, then we have to ask ourselves why not continue something that is so beneficial and natural? I suggest that there are insidious pressures from our peers and our parents which keep shaping our actions away from nursing. During this beautiful time we may have to make sure our circle of friends are supportive of our continued breastfeeding. It takes a strong mother to continue to do what is really very natural and healthy!

• Angela
  Jan 12, 2007 at 2:42 pm

  Sandy and Elanor, thanks for de-lurking! I love to hear from new people. Sandy, I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve nursed while typing! Right now though the girls are happily playing around me. My toddler just comes to me for a “quick fix” every once in a while.

  Elanor, I wish more people talked about nursing beyond even the age of 3. I think it happens more often than most people realize. It’s nice when the mother recognizes the need in her child to continue. When that need has been filled, it will go away. For example, when my daughter was little, she needed to be close to me during playgroups. I never pushed her or forced her to become independent. Because she developed that sense of security and confidence, now she is quite independent! It all pays off.

• Angela
  Jan 12, 2007 at 2:50 pm

  TLB :) - It does help a lot to have support from family and friends who are supportive of breastfeeding. The other day I hosted a group of like-minded ladies at my house and we had the best time chatting for over four hours! The kids were happy as long as their needs were being met, and the adults could have a good time talking.

• MammamayI
  Jan 12, 2007 at 4:53 pm

  I agree with the pp who said that there are so many benefits that I believe the real question should be why NOT breastfeed into and even beyond the toddler years. As a matter of fact, my son is 3 years old, and shows no signs of weaning any time soon. And I’m fine with that. We have obesity, type one diabetes, cancer, heart disease, alzheimers, strokes, you name it, we have it in our family. WHY WOULDN’T I DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO ENSURE THAT MY CHILDREN remain free of these scourges of modern living? And the number one thing I can do is to breastfeed for at least two years. Beyond which, any documented information ONLY shows benefits.

  That’s just talking medically induced reasons. Then, there are emotional reasons. My son needed stitches after a run-in with the handle of a putter last winter. He was the calmest two year old to receive facial stitches the doc had ever seen…and it was completely because we nursed past the blood, past the numbing shot, and as soon as the stitching was done. Forgetting that breastmilk contains relaxin and pain releiving properties, simply that security and closeness would have been a total benefit of our nursing relationship.

  We were at a playgroup recently, and my son was being constantly run over by the same child, having his toys taken, being pushed…and doing a stellar job, I think, of being assertive without being agressive in defending himself. And when he was particularly upset, rather than hitting, he came over, sat in my lap, and nursed. At that point, he was ready to go again into the fray. He was calm and prepared to face his friend with love…because he was treated with loving understanding in his time of distress.

  It grates on my nerves when I hear people speak of ANY nursling NOT “needing” to nurse because it’s “only” for comfort. What HUMAN BEING doesn’t need and even deserve comfort? What is the magic age at which we no longer deserve it from the person who should first and always be a child’s biggest protector and educator? And what parent would choose that their child seek that comfort from artificial means (food, drugs, repetitive motions, a plastic nipple), rather than from the arms and heart of the person who bore them and made a COMMITMENT to CARE FOR THEM? And what, physiologically, is our body CAPABLE of making milk for beyond what ever magic age a person decides for their child that is the perfect time to wean, if we are not “supposed” to nurse said child? Sorry if I seem a little worked up. :) Can you tell I’m a little passionate about this topic?

• Colleen
  Jan 12, 2007 at 7:40 pm

  I breastfed my 1st until he self weaned when I was four months pregnant. He was almost 17 months old. My daughter weaned approx. a week and a half ago (at almost 23 months) but I am not really ready to “talk” about that yet. I still haven’t processed it all . . .

  Anyway, I “believe” that whatever works for each Mama and baby is what is best. Period. :)

• Jen
  Jan 12, 2007 at 7:59 pm

  I nursed my son until he was 18 months old and I had to quit in order to get pregnant again. I was pregnant just two months later. My daughter is 14 months old and still nursing, with no signs of stopping. In fact, lately she’s given up food (sigh) and has been nursing exclusively again. I’m hungry all the time.

  I support people nursing children of whatever age. I don’t particularly care what other people think about me nursing my children… I nurse in public all the time shamelessly. I found that I did nurse my son less in public as he got older, not because I was concerned about what people thought, but because he was so BIG and active I just couldn’t do it as easily as could before. He certainly didn’t fit between the booth and the table anymore!

  Many people are vocally against nursing older children (i.e., “if they’re old enough to ask for it, they’re too old to have it”.) I always respond that I support nursing at any age, and gave my reasons. I did not want to wean my son, but my desire for him to have a sibling outweighed my desire to allow him to truly self-wean. He didn’t protest much, though, so I guess he was almost ready.

  We’ll see what happens with my daughter!

• Angela
  Jan 13, 2007 at 8:57 am

  Mammamay, Colleen and Jen, thanks so much for all of your comments! It’s great to get feedback on this question.

  Mammamay, I love how passionate you are on the subject. You’ve said a lot of what I would like to say (and actually have said along the way - like the time my daughter got a pebble stuck in her forehead and I was able to nurse her to sleep to get her in the car to go to the pediatrician, and the time she knocked out her front tooth and I could soothe her through all of the bleeding and emotional fall-out).

  Colleen - I totally understand your not being ready to talk about your daughter’s self-weaning. It’s a big step for both of you.

  Jen, good for you for sticking up for extended breastfeeding when people are critical of it. That’s not always easy to do. And I agree about your son’s weaning - if it was not difficult, that’s a good sign. You were still sensitive and responsive to his needs, just in other ways.

• Carolyn
  Jan 19, 2007 at 10:26 am

  What a fun website! I was surfing for info for my daughter on caring for a toddler while nursing a baby, and ran across your site. Ah, memories of nursing back in the dark ages of the ’60s came back. My first son had a lot of colic, which we dealt with poorly, but as a consequence, he nursed right through my second pregnancy, more for comfort than for nourishment. He was 15 months old when the baby was born, and he was thrilled when the milk came in. I nursed them both until the oldest was three, when I just felt that was enough (plus my mother-in-law and others were horrified, and I just caved, I guess). He was none too happy, and I would sneak around nursing #2 (at night, etc), but that didn’t last long. When the boys were 2 1/2 and 3 1/2, along came #3. Since I was pretty stressed out caring for three children and my milk seemed to be causing colic, she was weaned at 6 months. Sixteen months later came baby #4, a second girl, who repeated the pattern. Baby #5 came yet 16 months later, and one month after his birth, we were in the middle of the great stress and confusion of moving to a different job and state. I just threw up my hands and weaned him at 6 weeks. Two years later, after two more moves, #6 came along. Being older and wiser, I nursed her for two years. She self-weaned as the milk dried up, because we were expecting our last, a fourth daughter (born in 1978) who nursed for three years, when I decided that was long enough (she wanted to continue). So, I’ve run the gamut of nursing times, and from this vantage point, I would advise mothers to relax and do what they feel is best. For some reason, my milk many times led to runny diapers and I finally landed on baby carrots to counteract this with #7. Immediately, the diapers were firmer. She was only a few weeks old when I tried this, and I wish I had figured it out with #1. So, that’s my nursing story, for better and worse.

• Breastfeeding 1-2-3 » Mom of Seven Shares Her Nursing Experience
  Jan 19, 2007 at 11:36 am

  [...] Carolyn came across the Mom-to-Mom post on toddler nursing and left a very nice comment (thanks so much Carolyn and thanks to all 12 people who left comments on that post!) Because her comment tells such a wonderful story with her perspective on nursing each of her seven children, I thought I would share it here: [...]

• Angela
  Jan 19, 2007 at 11:38 am

  Carolyn, thanks so much for your kind words and for sharing your story. I’ve posted your comment under the “breastfeeding stories” category so that everyone will see it!

• Breastfeeding 1-2-3 » Breastfeeding: What I Didn’t Expect When I Was Expecting
  Apr 18, 2007 at 1:24 pm

  [...] ever want to nurse beyond one year. I didn’t realize that there would be huge advantages to toddler nursing. Breastfeeding [...]

• Morgan
  May 4, 2007 at 8:42 am

  At 3 months old we discovered that my son’s colic was actually a protein allergy. He was having a severe reaction to the milk I put in my cereal every morning and the cheese I ate with lunch.The poor little guy suffered from eczema, acid reflux, gas, vomiting and worst and most terrifing of all he had blood in his very runny stool. My husband and I had him tested for parasites and numerous other things before his Doctor suggested eliminating all dairy and soy from my diet, this meant I could not have lactose free milk either. Almost overnight my son was better–within 2 weeks all symptoms were gone! Thank goodness I decided to breastfeed, my son would have been in a really terrable situation if I had offered him formula. He is allergic to both milk and soy formulas and the hypoallergenic formula still has milk in it so there is no guarantee that it will work either not to mention that the hypoallergenic formula is about three to four times the price of regular formula and in my opinion it smells like dog food and tastes terrible. My son is 18 months now and I still pump at work and nurse him when I’m home. He eats solid food when he feels like it but like most toddlers when they are tired, ill or teething the prefer liquid. Some people don’t understand why I don’t force weaning on him but all of those who don’t support my decision are mothers who chose formula over nursing or they only nursed for a short while and then gave up. I am going to do what is best for my child. I am losing no sleep over others’ opinions of me but I would carry the weight of not doing what I felt was right for my son. I believe that when the time is right both mother and child will know. Before having my son I never imagined my self nursing this long but I am so proud of myself for doing it.

• Angela
  May 4, 2007 at 8:50 am

  Morgan, kudos to you for figuring out your son’s allergy and continuing to pump for him and breastfeed him! You SHOULD be proud!

• mike
  Sep 19, 2007 at 2:08 pm

  Some of you are sick! You can’t just whip your tit out and fix the world’s problems! Did you ever consider some real-world, tough love at times? A 5 year old getting made fun of and running to his Mom to nurse!? Really!??? Wow! That is insane! In public!???! Amazing there are people out there like some of you! Why stop there? How about when he is being ridiculed in 7th grade? Yikes! And doing what is best for your child is nursing? Prove it! Formula is being engineered by the most intelligent scientist! How do you know that is not the next best step in supplemental evolution? You could careless about what I have to say because you are convinced in your own mind, but I do suggest to please have some discretion in public and if the child can walk up to you, he shouldn’t have free riegn to pop it out and give suck!

• Top 10 Breastfeeding 1-2-3 Posts Based on Reader Comments
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• Déa
  Apr 7, 2008 at 10:10 am

  Definately believe that it’s right for the babes but it’s got to be right for everyone otherwises it’ll be counterproductive.

  My daughter is 18 months and still feeding many times a day and all night (we co-sleep). I am a zombie mum as a result and everyday ask can i go on. but do ‘believe’ it’s the right thing so i do.

  However i do feel very self conscious feeding in public especially as at the mo she insists on have both breasts uncovered and switches back and for between the 2. Doesn’t make discrete feeding that easy! luckily she is usually too busy when we are out to want to feed much.

  Also being aware that scary people like mike (comment above) are about outside and login into breastfeeding web sites, Why Mike? Doesn’t help one to feel comfortable with feeding an older child. what a sad world we live in.

• Kate
  Jun 8, 2008 at 8:04 pm

  Great to read about so many people’s experiences and opinions. It is kind of amazing how some people are so passionately against nursing, and opposed to it in public. I suppose we have all seen women who are very comfortable in their role as nursing mom, and don’t mind flashing - but ultimately, BIG DEAL! Mike, let it go buddy, and look away.

  I nursed both of my boys until 20 months, am currently weaning my youngest. He resisted it initially, so we picked back up for another month, but I am really DONE now and am working hard to wean him. I am trying distraction, and offering him snuggles and comfort without the milk, and it seems to be going better this time around. He signs for milk, but doesn’t get upset when I tell him that, “Mama’s milk is all gone.”

  Dea - you have to do what is right for your family, including you! Of course your baby will nurse all night with you right there. Why not, she’s getting plenty of sleep! But if that means you are exhausted, well, you might need to make some changes and take care of yourself too. Happy moms and happy mom/dad relationships are also a gift to baby and to your family. Breastfeeding is wonderful, but that doesn’t mean you have to let your toddler rule when and where it will happen, she can accept a schedule and limits to her access. At 18 months she doesn’t need it for the nutrition. You should fully consider your own desires along with the baby’s (as in, “We are in the middle of grocery shopping, I can’t nurse you now, have some fruit leather”).

  As parents we all struggle to do what is right for our kids, but I am often surprised how intelligent people will let their child fully rule their lives. We have an obligation to create some structure, and instill some discipline. Plenty of research has shown that by setting limits, kids feel MORE secure and loved than they do when they always get their own way. The best mamas I know aren’t impersonating helicopters (hovering, hovering), and fixing every slight (real and imagined) but helping their kids to begin some solo flights.

• karen
  Sep 29, 2008 at 6:28 am

  nursed both of my children longer than the norm.
  Both turned out to be healthy well adjusted kids with straight A so far in school

• Carolyn
  Sep 29, 2008 at 2:19 pm

  I’m the grandma with seven different nursing stories, and I just thought of an add-on: The child I nursed the shortest time has turned out quite well, healthy and all, but he was the only one of my children who had chronic ear infections.

  Interesting.

  Anyone else have a comparison between the effects of short-term or no nursing and long-time nursing?

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