Breastfeeding 1-2-3

35 opinions for Wordless Wednesday: My Toddler Nursing Photo

• CINDY
  Sep 7, 2007 at 6:20 pm

  That baby is no baby its way to big to be breastfeeding good grief.
  someone would surly notice a kid that big feeding off its mother Lord!
  and I breast feed 5 children while they were babies not half way into 1st grade!

• Steve McPhail
  Sep 8, 2007 at 8:27 am

  The Toddler pictured is NOT too big to be still breastfeeding! In fact, I don’t even believe that a
  4 year old is too big to still be breastfeeding!. I’m all in favor of extended breastfeeding and if the mother wishes to continue breastfeeding her child regardless of age; she’ll always have my 100% support!. I’m sure the child will eventually let her mother know when he or she wants to be weaned from breastfeeding. Until then, if I were you or anybody else who just wants to share their comments ( sometimes rude) about any mother who wishes to continue nursing their older child.
  I would just kindly and politely keep my thoughts to myself and not say anything to the nursing mother!
  She knows when it’s time to stop breastfeeding I’m sure that any nursing mother will say… ”please don’t tell me as to how long I should nurse my child”
  Besides, It’s not your child; so therefore why should it be any concern of yours or anybody else’s as to how long a mother should continue breastfeeding her child. After all, as long as the mother continues nursing she is not only giving her child the very best milk in the whole world; she is keeping her child from being immuned to all the different kinds of illnesses that a child could possibly receive!. To all nursing mothers, I wish for you all many happy years of breastfeeding!!.

• Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor
  Sep 8, 2007 at 9:06 am

  Cindy, I certainly respect each individual mother’s choice about how long she wishes to breastfeed her children.

  Steve, thanks for the eloquent defense of toddler nursing and extended breastfeeding!

  I’ll take this opportunity to remind people that the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until at least two years of age, and the American Academy of Family Physicians states that children weaned before the age of two are at increased risk of illness. Extended breastfeeding benefits the child, whether she is 1, 2 or older.

• CINDY
  Sep 8, 2007 at 2:11 pm

  Steve McPhail , only a Male would enjoy seeing a 50 pound human hanging from a mothers Breast believe me.

  As for the 2 year old study It changes so much who even knows anymore, I had My first baby in 1979 and my last baby in 1992 I breast fed them all and over the coarse of those many years it changed five or six times.
  Remember a four year old child has most of its teeth and can chew through a steak by then.

• CINDY
  Sep 8, 2007 at 2:47 pm

  One thing clear, I am not against Breastfeeding I have done it with 5 children, what I am against is rudeness and someone looking to cause trouble, This lady, Ms. Ryan, has declined to even show up now at the nurse -in’s here in KY, after she made suck a stink over this whole thing.That to me is just a trouble maker.
  I breastfeed in ever place you can think of and some you probably could not I have 2 boys who are 11 months apart and at one point was breastfeeding them both, but rudeness crudeness and just being a trouble maker , I did not take those routes, I’m sorry Ms. Ryan felt she needed to.

  I have to laugh I can’t find it now look around its here somewhere , one woman writes” she was sipping wine ” when a waiter asked her to cover up a little bit at the bar of a restaurant , That one was funny .
  Every womans has a right to breastfeed when and where she needs to or has to like I said before It just comes down to class, you either have it or you don’t.
  This lady Ms. Ryan lost all credibility when she refused to go to her own Nurse-in thats she made such a stink over, these are the kind of people who cause the fights its not the other way around.

• Eilat
  Sep 8, 2007 at 4:18 pm

  I find it incredibly ironic that CINDY requires people to have class, while leaving comments full of grammatical errors, rudeness, and praise of Applebees (a classy joint, for sure!).
  It is fascinating that in our culture, no one questions the fact that toddlers need milk. My pediatrician sent me home with a form that stated that my then 18 month old needed 16-24 ounces of milk (cow’s, presumably). This form was for 18-24 month olds. If a child has a biological need for that much milk at those ages, where does that need come from? Humans did not drink cows milk 1000 years ago (or even more recently than that). If a toddler has a need for that much milk then clearly, the ideal way to provide that milk is with the species specific variety.
  No one seems to have a problem with a 3 year old walking around with a pacifier. If that 3 year old falls down and cries, he is offered a pacifier to soothe him. I see this all the time. This has a biological origin:children are soothed by sucking. What do people think babies were sucking on before plastic plugs hit the market?
  So our modern society is OK with children sucking on rubber nipples and drinking cows milk, both of which are substitutes for breastfeeding, until well past what some would consider babyhood. Yet it is problematic to provide those children with the source of nutrition and comfort from which these needs derived?
  It is wonderful that CINDY nursed her 5 kids. However, a mom nursing her baby or toddler in a restaurant or in private is meeting her baby’s needs that are fundamentally biological in nature. How can you have so much bitterness and rancor towards that?

• CINDY
  Sep 8, 2007 at 6:23 pm

  I guess what was the point of us even evolving? we should go back to the caves if not to move forward.

  What is so Ironic is that yes, I did breastfeed 5 children spanning a large area of time in my life the 70’s, 80’s and even 90’s and it all that time ( here comes the funny part) I was never bothers nor did I bother anyone when I breastfeed my FIVE children OR maybe I did and our media controlled world has let people like Ms. Ryan know they can make a big stink over nothing at all.

  I was never asked to cover up ( I did that all on my own) nor asked to leave any place I was, in a span of all that time with all those children, I just wonder why That is ?
  I’m not alone in this my sister and I had 3 of her children at the same time as I and she breastfed as well,, we talked at length over this issue at Applebee’s today and had a wonderful lunch.
  And finally we come back to the whole Applebee’s issue, Ms. Ryan who started this big stink In Ky rallied the troops to stage this big nurse in and then she did not even show up, You have to find the humor in that!
  OK now, so back to my less than upright position and into the cave I go.

• Eilat
  Sep 8, 2007 at 6:40 pm

  Cindy –
  OK, we get it, you nursed five kids. That’s terrific, really.
  But from your latest comment, it seems that you consider giving cow’s milk to babies (i.e. the milk of another mammal) along with rubber artificial nipples as pacifiers the same as evolution? I suggest you consult your biology textbooks. Sorry, that’s not how evolution works.
  I have also never been bothered in the 24 months that I have nursed my son, pretty much everywhere. I have only been met with kindness and accomodation. My mother nursed 4 kids in the 70’s and 80’s, including twins, and was only bothered once. But, you may not be aware that anecdote does not constitute evidence. There are lots of women who are harassed (consider Emily Gilette who was forced off a plane). Just because it didn’t happen to me, or you, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen to lots of women. It is a key factor which discourages women from breastfeeding and its a shame that these women can’t be supported instead of oscracised.

• CINDY
  Sep 8, 2007 at 7:01 pm

  I would have supported Ms. Ryan had she not acted like a fool and backed out of her own sit it. I have also found that breastfed babies normally don’t take to the pacifiers so I have never had that problem, as For putting them on cow’s milk lets face it my oldest son is 28 he had to he off the breast at some point.
  I don’t see where in my comment I even remotely suggested to NOT nurse your child, I said noting of the sort.
  Emily Gilette got my support Ms. Ryan never will, and why should she
  she did not even support herself.
  I live here, I was there today and It was 97 degrees outside by the way while these mothers had these poor babies out in this killer heat, thats the problem with people who want to make a point louder than life , like those crazy abortion fighters they will do anything to get seen even if there baby is sweating to death in 97 degree heat.
  Oh and again Ms. Ryan was not there today.
  I however had a yummy boneless baby back ribs a nice salad ( no dressing) and a order of cheese sticks , peach tea to drink.

• amy
  Sep 19, 2007 at 8:31 pm

  I would never deny a child their right to breastfeed. That picture up there signifies such love between two people: the child needing to be fed and comforted, held and loved, the mother needing to give and hold and love in return. If a mother can handle it, and the child needs it, then let them be and hold your tongue.

  Personally, when I am old and gray, one of my beloved memories will be all the times I nursed my two children. Nothing could be sweeter and more beautiful to me.

• Gareth
  Oct 3, 2007 at 8:23 pm

  I only have one short comment and that is, mothers that breast feed children older than toddlers do so for their own needs and not for those of the child of the child.

• Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor
  Oct 4, 2007 at 5:27 am

  Gareth, I know some people believe that, but I can say from personal experience that it has not been easy nursing my 2 year old. There are benefits I enjoy (a healthier, happier child makes my life easier) but I am not doing it for myself, that’s for sure.

• Cindy
  Oct 4, 2007 at 5:31 am

  I think we know who I would agree with on this, so I shall not even bother.
  Thanks for a great comment Gareth.

• Gareth
  Oct 4, 2007 at 1:37 pm

  I brought up twin boys,now 27.my wife breast fed till they were 6 months.I can confirm that they were happy and healthy without needing to be at their mothers breast at 2 years old.I think you need to take a long hard look at yourself and your true reasons for doing so!

• Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor
  Oct 4, 2007 at 2:33 pm

  I keep the blog open to opinions of all kinds, but I do not tolerate personal bashing (I don’t care, but it does not further the purpose of the blog, which is to support and inform breastfeeding women). Any further inappropriate comments will be deleted.

• Gareth
  Oct 5, 2007 at 10:04 pm

  I am sorry if my comments caused offense.It was an observation that although referring to you(as you are the person who has brought up the topic) but is just as easily applied to any woman in the same situation.Therefore at what stage does a hyperthetial breastfeading mother consider that the child is getting too old to be suckling

• Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor
  Oct 6, 2007 at 5:25 am

  The hypothetical mother, you mean? Ideally, weaning takes place when the child outgrows the need (child-led weaning). Most instances of weaning are a combination of mother-led and child-led (the child shows signs of being ready and the mother starts implementing gentle steps to wean). In some cases, weaning is entirely mother-led — mother is ready to be done before the child is. Weaning before age one is almost always mother-led (if an infant does not want to nurse, it can likely be attributed to a nursing strike triggered by an illness or traumatic event).

  As for the age at which weaning should take place, the average age of weaning for a child allowed to wean himself is age 3 or 4. Researcher Katherine Dettwyler says the normal and natural duration of breastfeeding for the modern human is between 2.5 years of age at a minimum and 7 years at a maximum. See:

  http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html
  http://www.kathydettwyler.org/dethowlong.htm

  The major medical associations say this:

  AAFP = American Academy of Family Physicians, which recommends exclusive breastfeeding for six months and warns: “If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned.”

  AAP = American Academy of Pediatrics, which recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months and says, “Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child.” The AAP also states that there is no psychological harm to the child in continuing to breastfeed an older child.

  CPS = Canadian Paediatric Society, which recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months and says “breastfeeding may continue for up to two years and beyond”

  UNICEF = United Nations Children’s Fund, which believes that breastfeeding should “continue until the child is two years or older”

  WHO = World Health Organization, which recommends that a child breastfeed for at least two years

• Katherine Bennett
  Oct 7, 2007 at 8:56 pm

  Hi:

  I have breastfed my first until he was 3 and my second until he was 4yrs old. I met my second husband before weaning my second child and when we planned for my 3rd (his 1st) - he was adament about not nursing OUR child for so long.

  Well… she just had her 3rd birthday and we are still nursing and she is still in the family bed. So I think until you are in the moment, it can be hard to really make a judgement.

  We are a happy and healthy family and I can even contest to the fact that she is healthier then the other little boy I watch 5 days a week who is only 4 wks older then her. He will hold on the the same cold twice as long as my daughter.

  How can MOTHER’s milk not be better then COW milk??

  I am glad that I have never been asked to leave or cover up but I too like many other mothers was descreet and tend to only nurse at HOME to avoid any unwanted looks or comments.

  Its natural. Its homemade.

• Pet Wangia
  Oct 18, 2007 at 5:45 am

  Your daughter is really lucky to be breast feeding at that age. My son is 3 and still breast feeding. The funny part is that he will never suckle if i got the breast from up and always loves it when i have to pull my blouse up….really embarrassing in public but his health is more important than the blaring eyes!

• Sonia
  Oct 28, 2007 at 10:59 pm

  I am currently still nursing my 22-month old son. I am getting pressure from my husband to wean, but I don’t feel that my child is ready, and neither am I. I would like to continue to nurse until my son is ready, but the pressure from not only my husband, but society is tougher than I ever imagined. I only nurse at home and never in public for risk of humiliation, but it would be nice to publicly talk about it without fear of judgement.

• Katherine Bennett
  Oct 29, 2007 at 7:59 am

  Well Sonia:

  If you really want to talk to someone who can be supportive - contact a La Leche League leader near you and make it to a meeting.

  You may find the help and support that you are looking for. I am sorry that you and your husband are not on the same page.

  I know the reason that my hubby does not pressure me is that our daughter loves/needs to nurse still. She gets very upset when I delay a nursing to cook, clean, or ‘just because’ and he does not want to hurt her just because society may not understand and disapprove.

  Good luck with your hubby and congrats on taking care of your child they way you want to.

  kat

• Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor
  Oct 29, 2007 at 3:10 pm

  Good idea, Kat! I’ve found a lot of support at LLL meetings. Some groups specifically have toddler meetings (but of course, mothers and their nursing toddlers are welcome at all meetings).

• Sonia
  Oct 29, 2007 at 4:02 pm

  Kat,

  Thank you for your guiadance. I will contact LLL and make it to a meeting. It will be nice to get some positive support.

• Brittany
  Dec 6, 2007 at 6:39 pm

  Some people can be so rude! There is nothing wrong or perverted about nursing a toddler. I am only 23 years old and am PROUD to be nursing my 18 month old son. We will continue to breastfeed and co-sleep until we both are ready to stop. Believe me… nursing a toddler isn’t doing anything for my own desires or needs. I am often sore from his acrobatic nursing LOL but he adores it, it comforts him, and he is rarely sick. Nobody’s uneducated comments will sway us mothers from doing what we know is best for our children.

• teraza
  Dec 19, 2007 at 7:57 pm

  I think its a lovely photo. I also think that it should be the norm. Nursing my 11 month old right now.. :))

• Amy
  Mar 4, 2008 at 10:06 pm

  Gareth who do you think you are? What a disgusting comment to make about mothers. Get off of this board. We don’t need more breastfeeding haters in the world. Get your own life.

• Amy
  Mar 4, 2008 at 10:14 pm

  I am nursing my angel still at almost 17 months of age, and it has been an experience for both he and I that will never be like any other in this world. Nursing not only fulfills so many nutritional requirements, especially for picky toddlers who don’t like to eat, but nursing can calm a tantrum, soothe an illness, lull an overtired and cranky child to sleep, and form and perpetuate a bond of love and trust so unique that it exists in no other human relationships. That poster Gareth who said that mothers nurse selfishly cannot even begin to imagine what a sacrifice it can be at times when nursing makes you tired, or you feel ashamed in front of the so many judgemental jerks like yourself. Mothers do things for their kids for ONE reason alone - because we love them more than ourselves and we want only the best for them.

• Gareth
  Mar 5, 2008 at 12:15 am

  Amy,
  what are you afraid of?Do you just want posters on the site who will just pat you on the back and say what a saint you are for breast feeding toddlers.
  Will you be going to school and sitting in the playground to make sure your youngster has a lunch feed?
  If you look at my posts you will see I am not anti breast feeding.I supported my wife of twins when my boys were young.Also I gave them all the warmth and comfort they needed without them needing a breast at their lips.
  They have grown to be healthy well adjusted boys and love their Dad.

• Brittany
  Mar 5, 2008 at 7:03 am

  It is a sad fact that some people will never understand that breastfeeding is a nutritional and emotional need beyond 6 months or a year. It doesn’t matter what the AAFP, WHO, UNICEF or the AAP say.

• Tara Carey
  Mar 23, 2008 at 9:56 pm

  Ms. White,

  I stumbled upon this website quite by accident. Thank you for your wonderfully erudite and encouraging perspective on breastfeeding. In the recent past I never would have imagined having an avid 21-month-old nursling. However, with the loving support of my husband, I have allowed my mothering instincts to ultimately supercede all else in our nursing relationship and there are often small reassurances around every bend. For instance, the New Year brought with it our first bout with croup. Nursing was a source of both nutrition (he wasn’t much interested in eating) and comfort. Understanding each child’s needs are unique, we strongly believe our son still needs to nurse-sometimes to find calm and ease frustration or over-stimulation, sometimes for comfort, sometimes to reconnect with me and of course for the unparalleled nutritional value of a tummy full of breastmilk. While his limbs are stretching longer and his face growing more narrow, he most certainly still possesses many of babyhood’s vestiges: at just shy of 2 years old he still cannot hold his bladder to make it to the potty; he’s not yet coordinated enough to pull on his own socks or balance peas on a fork; and I can still count the words comprising his vocabulary. Why do we rush life by? Weaning in our home will be a developmental milestone that our son will accomplish in his own time.
  Again, thank you for your validation.

• Donna
  Apr 11, 2008 at 9:53 am

  Wow, it is amazing to me how in this supposed enlightened society that there are people still offended by toddlers breastfeeding. Grown 50 year old men want to have sex with 13 year old girls but and our public schools are giving away free condoms to children. But when we let our toddlers act like toddlers and nurse, we are barbaric. It seems to me that the Moms on here who complain the most are probably the ones who send there children off to daycare the quickest. We live in a totally self serving society, so of course we should wean the little annoyance at six months and get on wit OUR own lives!

• Susan
  Apr 21, 2008 at 3:31 am

  Hi, I have too stumbled upon your website by accident. I like to say what a lovely photo! It’s truly beautiful! I am still breastfeeding my 2 year old daughter and had breastfed my other older daughter till about 2 years of age. It’s such a shame that there are lots of people like Cindy and Gareth. My in-laws are very much like them; they hated me breastfeeding a toddler so much that they have now completely pushed me and my little girls out of the family.

• Debbie
  May 8, 2008 at 11:25 pm

  OK here’s the rub, I have 3 children. Number 1, Dan, was bottle fed and had a dummy (pacifier)

  Number 2, Shannon, was born weighing 4lb 140z and WOULD NOT take a bottle. When the midwie was going to tube feed her I decided to try the breast. 50 minutes later she came off and rested her little head on my breast. 2 and a half years later she self weaned. Oh and she would never take a dummy.

  Number 3, Annabel, is 16 months and is still nursing frequently, day and night. She wouldn’t take a dummy either.

  What I have learned about breastfeeding is how easily a child can be comforted when they’re poorly or hurt, and how breastfeeding reduces illnesses and allergies. My first child had horrendous excema when he was younger, my little girls have had nothing.

  And just to comment on the point that women who practise extended breastfeeding are doing it for themselves, that is absolute rubbish. It can be tiring, especially when they feed at night, and of course we get persecuted for doing it and have to explain ourselves to people who don’t understand. Plus I’ve had mastitis 3 times!!

  But at the end of the day I know that I am raising happy healthy children, looking after them to the best of my ability and I should not have to justify myself to anybody.

• Cindy
  May 20, 2008 at 3:44 pm

  Just want to pop in here! I am currently tandem nursing my 20 month and my almost 3 and a half year old sons. They are very healthy, and are thriving on mother’s milk instead of cow’s milk. (while I do appreciate those mommy cows’ donations, I can provide my own!) You don’t see other species drinking the milk of other species so why should human babies? I will wean my sons when THEY are ready, not when people who don’t understand are ready. Just recently my sons contracted Rotavirus from a friend and continued to nurse throughout the illness. My pediatrician praised me for nursing them and told me that he had hospitalized so many children this season that drank formula and/or cow’s milk because of dehydration. Breast milk is so easily digested (because it is the perfect food for babies) that my sons were able to get nutrition even while vomiting constantly. As all of us know, cow’s milk and solids are not usually good foods to eat while sick to your stomach. Anyway, don’t judge someone unless you have walked a mile in their shoes. And to the person who said that a mother nursing a child older than a toddler is doing it for themselves is wrong! Believe me it takes committment and sacrifice to meet the breastfeeding needs of my sons. I am doing what is best for my children.

• Mika
  Aug 26, 2008 at 12:01 pm

  Before I had my daughter, I was very much against breastfeeding, at least in public. And this was mainly due to my own issues with body-image, etc. Well, I have nursed my 15 month old until last Thrusday, went she went on strike. And I am currently trying to return her to the breast. I have weathered family disapproval, in fact, even being told breastfeeding was like having sex in a resturaunt and I was “disgusting” (at the time my daughter was 10 months). I was ill when my daughter was first born, so breastfeeding has been a very hard fought and won activity. And I am devestated that my daughter is on strike.
  Obviously, breastfeeding is natural, or women wouldn’t have breasts that make milk. Society has put restrictions on what is acceptable, not mother natrue. Do I want to breastfeed my daughter until she is 5? No. But I want to ensure that she has the best start in life, the best nutrition that was intended for HER (i.e. made by me becasue of her), and that she stops when she is trully ready. I am trying to woo her back to the breast, but it may not be.
  I think that these comments reflect on our times - if we truly want to progress into a more tolerant society for our children’s happiness in the future, we would learn to be more respectful of each other’s choices. So those who choose to breastfeed, to whatever age, BRAVO. As long as parent and child is willing. And for those who never breastfeed- you will make the best and most healthy choices for your children, BRAVO. Please, lets not destroy either of these beautiful things. Or we are just teaching our children intolerance and hate.

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